Depression
In reading one of the profiles in the new issue of Working Mother, I was interested to see Erica Carrasco’s description of her husband, Stephen. She works during the day as a technical writer; since their daughter was a year old, "he’s been Mr. Mom, tending the home fires and working nights as a cashier." Because she earns more than he does, they’ve decided to focus on her career, although they’re hoping that she’ll have more flexible hours when she starts her own business, allowing him to go to college.
I was particularly struck by the comment that her husband has been depressed since before their daughter was born. She also says that being at home is "good for our finances but hard on Stephen’s ego." I haven’t seen any formal research on it, but anecdotal evidence suggests that depression is at least as common among stay-at-home dads as it is among stay-at-home moms (who are more likely to be depressed than working moms). Men don’t have post-partum hormones complicating things, but they have less societal support for their role.
It’s also likely that depressed individuals are less successful in the world of employment, and so they may be more likely to choose to stay home for financial reasons. Unfortunately, there’s some evidence that depressed parents are less responsive to their kids, leading to worse emotional and cognitive outcomes.
November 30th, 2004 at 5:49 pm
Wow, I’m so happy that someone can see what is happening to parents who are depressed. My husband is doing so much better now that he has been off of Paxil (abou 5 months). He is working full-time now, we actually work for the same company. He is so different, he feels important and feels that he can contribute to our financial needs. This alone brought his ego down and our lives were in all directions. I’d like to talk more on this subject and my husband yearns to help others who are in the same situation.