Toy guns, real death
My older son (almost 4 years old) is suddenly fascinated by toy guns. We’re not thrilled, but are allowing them, subject to the rule that he’s not allowed to point them at people, only at things. D doesn’t quite get it, and keeps wanting us to pretend to be dinosaurs or monsters so that he can shoot us. We usually go along with his pretend games, and he doesn’t understand why this one isn’t ok.
He doesn’t get it, because he’s never seen a real gun and what it can do. We don’t watch the television news when the boys are around, and he hasn’t started paying attention to the radio news that I sometimes listen to. He doesn’t know that we’re at war in Iraq and Afghanistan, or that over a hundred thousand people were killed by the tsunami last week. No one he knows has died in his short life, and the concept of death isn’t real to him yet. (When the fish in our tank die, he just wants us to replace them.)
I know that we can’t shelter him forever, but I’d like to give him a little longer of innocence. And yet I worry that the brutalities of the world may come crashing in. Even as I reassure him that "mommies always come back," I know that some mommies don’t, no matter how much they want to. When he learns the truth, I hope he’ll forgive me my gentle lies.
January 4th, 2005 at 9:54 pm
I worried about exposing my kids to the concept of death, but so far, they seem to be far more comfortable with it than I am. They’ve lost two great-grandmothers who they saw several times a year, and recently Grandma’s dog died (they saw her at least once a month). They seem pretty comfortable with the fact that they see turkeys at the turkey farm at the same time as we’re picking up a turkey to eat for Thanksgiving. We haven’t had to deal with any concerns about losing a parent or someone else close to them — it just hasn’t come up.
January 4th, 2005 at 9:55 pm
I forgot to say — my oldest is five.
January 5th, 2005 at 3:42 pm
Hi, Thanks for commenting on my blog!
As to guns, I wouldn’t worry about it. If they don’t have toy guns, they pretend everything they pick up is a gun, if thats what they are interested in. You’re mindful and watchful about it, I don’t see any harm.
May 15th, 2005 at 6:35 pm
Just remember. Guns are harmless and 100% safe.Its just the people you have to worry about. Btw death is just the beginning of eternity in heaven and hell. Expose your kids to god and stop worrying how they will handle death. If they know there is places after it they will find it more comfartable.