Anonymity
Lauren at Feministe wrote this week that she expected people who knew her in real life who read her blog to let her know. She explained:
"It is important that as a friend, relative, co-worker or whatever you may be to me, your presence at my weblog does not impede my ability to express myself…. If I did not personally provide you with my URL, this is probably because I may not want you to read certain things I might write about you or others you care about, in order to spare your feelings, avoid drama, or maintain their privacy."
I’m coming from a different position. While this blog doesn’t have my full name on it, anyone who knows my name can find it pretty easily. In the past couple of weeks, two long-lost friends have contacted me through the comments. And I’ve given the URL to my family and friends. Yes, it means that there are some topics I’m somewhat inhibited about writing on. But I’m not really the type to talk about my sex life on the internet. And it’s nice to get emails and calls of concern when I post that my kids are sick or I had a really lousy day.
So why don’t I publish this under my name? If you disagree with my writing, I want you to respond by telling me where I went wrong, not dragging my life into it. And I don’t want any nutcase who I might piss off showing up at my doorstep, or at my kid’s school. I’ve provided enought detail that someone who was sufficiently obsessed could probably figure it out, but I don’t need to make it easy for them.
Lauren goes on to say:
"If I make my opinions public, I am held accountable for them. I have to own my words, be willing to take responsibility for what I have said, admit flaws and quibbles in my rhetoric. I have to pay attention the particulars of language, how punctuation and word choice can shift an entire argument."
I think that’s an important lesson. Earlier this year, one post I wrote got a lot of attention, mostly hostile. I thought that I had been misunderstood, and considered deleting the post. But I decided that would be intellectually dishonest. I can take the heat.
That said, I don’t typically edit what I blog. If I did, I’d post a lot less often. I’m often figuring out what I think about an issue in the process of writing. This is a first draft, not a polished product. (Maybe that’s why Lauren gets several times more hits per day than I’ve gotten in my lifetime of blogging.)
March 13th, 2005 at 11:49 am
If people leave hostile comments on your blog, you can always delete them.
On the internet, sticks & stones can’t break my bones, so you can imagine how I feel about being called names. heh. So it’s a useless argument. Name-calling is immature… if an adult is engaging in it, I question their emotional stability.
Besides, I wouldn’t let people call me names, or be rude & mean to me in my home, which I pay for, and is my domain, so why should I allow people to carry on that way towards me on my web site, which is mine & I pay for & maintain?
I’ve learned never to listen to these jokers who will try to tell you you’re being unfair for not letting them carry on like rude jerks in someone else’s face/space. They’re just being manipulative to try to get their way & control how I allow them to treat me. If they have something rude to say, they can damn well do it on their own web site if it’s that important to them. But they’re not going to control what I think or what I post, or what I’ll put up with from other people.
Anyway, it is best not to make it super-easy for people to find out where you live and whatnot. I totally respect your thoughts on that. Especially with children & whatnot. But really anybody.
I’ve had death threats after someone with a local web site decided he hated me, and shared personal information he found out about me – like my address – which the phone company screwed up and listed by mistake. This was a few years ago.
Anyway, you can find out who I am easily enough through my domain registrar. I don’t hide my identity.
However, I don’t use my real address nor my own phone #, for my public domain registry information. If someone tried to track me down that way, they’d have to spend weeks trying to catch me when I happen to be visiting at that address. haha.
I have my phone # and address (current) unlisted & unpublished.
And I’m careful not to post any identifying photos or descriptions of where I live. I live in a city and I’m honest about that – but I don’t say exactly where.
And I never post information about my employment or work at all.
And I most certainly never post in advance about the departure & return dates or where I’m going, if I’m going away somewhere. For example, I surely wouldn’t say “I’ll be gone on vacation for the next 2 weeks.” haha. Like why not just pin a $100 bill to my front door with a big sign saying “unattended home here”. haha. Even when you have a house sitter – it occurred to me that could be putting them in danger, if some criminal thinks they’re going to an empty house.
But yet I see so many bloggers announce that they’ll be away on vacation… and when they’ll be back posting again.
Screw it – I don’t have to explain to anyone why I don’t post for weeks at a time. haha.