People you’ve met over the internet
I’ve been emailing back and forth with Little Pink Flower’s mom trying to find a time that we can get together before they move out of the area. We finally settled on a time, and then we needed to come up with a place. She suggested a pancake restaurant, but I hate taking my older son to restaurants, since he doesn’t care enough about food for it to be a distraction, so he wants to wander around and meet everyone in the place. I suggested a free outdoor concert, but it’s supposed to be hot and sunny, and she’s worried that the baby will burn.
Finally, I wrote: "I know you’re not supposed to do this with ‘people you’ve met over the internet,’ but it sounds like it might be simplest for you to come over here. Would you be comfortable with that?"
I’m a long time member of several email lists and online communities, and can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gotten together with people I’ve met online. I like to tell the story of the time I was riding down to Myrtle Beach for the marathon with some people from my running list. I was squashed in a back seat that wasn’t really meant for people to sit in, so when we met up at a Wafle House with Lady G, another member of the list, and she offered me a ride in her truck, I was happy to switch vehicles. It wasn’t for another hour that it occurred to me that I didn’t know Lady G’s last name, and that the people giving the original ride were the only ones in the world who knew who I was with. It turned out fine, of course.
My sons are way too young to be meeting people over the computer, but I’m sure that in 10 years or so, I’ll be struggling with what boundaries to set on their encounters with people they’ve met over the internet. I’d certainly be horrified if they were hopping rides with internet friends without my knowing who they were with. I know there are some scary people out there, but I wouldn’t want to ban all face-to-face encounters, which have been a rich source of pleasure in my life. I’ve got time to figure out the rules, but I suspect they’ll involve adult supervision and public meeting places.
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On a related note, if you’re a blogger, and haven’t yet taken the MIT Weblog Survey, I’d encourage you to check it out. Their goal is "to help understand the way that weblogs are affecting the way we communicate with each other." In addition to the usual demographic stuff, they ask some interesting questions about the people you link to and whether you know them in real life, how often you read and comment on other blogs, what topics you discuss on your blog, and whether you know people in various occupational categories.
Once you answer the survey, you can browse the results so far. Given the mass media focus on political bloggers, I was particularly struck by the answers to the question: What percentage of your weblog posts would you estimate are about the news, current events, or things you think are newsworthy? I was also happy to see that, even among bloggers, I’m not the only one who never uses IM or SMS.
June 23rd, 2005 at 8:07 am
Obviously, there is a danger of coming across crazies online. But my hunch is that the media has over-hyped it, just as it’s overhyped how dangerous it is in the “real” world.
And you definitely are not alone, I don’t IM and I don’t even know what SMS is…
June 23rd, 2005 at 7:08 pm
You know, we invited a whole family of fellow bloggers to stay overnight at our house without having met them, and it turned out just fine. We all had quite a bit of fun, in fact.
http://www.thezeroboss.com/archives/004487.html
June 24th, 2005 at 1:43 pm
Blah Goes Fear
In perusing Elizabeth’s latest entry, I was really struck by the survey being conducted by MIT and the question about how much posting is about “newsworthy items.”
June 25th, 2005 at 2:15 am
You triggered a memory.
When I moved to Arkansas I did a road trip soon after I arrived to meet the Cafe Utne people who I “knew.”
I’ve always loved comparing people’s online personality to their offline personality.
One woman I thought I knew and liked was named Cassandra James. Only I knew that wasn’t her real name but I didn’t know what the real name was and didn’t think to get it.
So the plan was I’d call her when I got to Texas. So I did.
The call:
“Who are you trying to reach?”
“Cassandra James?”
“We have nobody here by that name.”
I started to say that I think she is British and is a red-head but I wondered if that part was false too.
I pleaded, “Please ask if anyone answers sometimes to the name Cassandra” and she did and it worked out ok in the end.
Moral of the story: Get the real name before you travel across state lines to meet someone.
June 26th, 2005 at 12:16 pm
Bloggers I admire
Editors note: I actually wrote this on Friday so as focus on my studies this weekend.—————————————————– I’ve been carefully reading a few bloggers whose styles and eloquence I aspire to while still finding my own uniq…
June 27th, 2005 at 3:24 pm
some of my dearest friends now I met on a local area of a larger message board. We all gathered to meet each other at a book reading/signing, and we all had to introduce ourselves twice– by our internet name AND our real names!