Merry Christmases
I’m afraid we’ve managed to totally confuse D with this whole Hanukah and Christmas deal. The boys opened their presents from their paternal grandparents (who celebrate Christmas) this morning, and within 15 minutes D was shrieking "no, it’s mine!" at N. I asked him to sit with me and asked "Do you know what the spirit of Christmas is about?" He answered immediately "Judah Maccabee!" We clearly need to find the light-up elephant that Baraita was talking about.
In all seriousness, we had a lovely day. T’s parents scored some real hits with both the Bucket Blast Game, which had us running all over the place throwing beanbags at each other, and the Peanut Butter and Jelly Game, which is one of the few kids games I’ve played that doesn’t make the adults cheat in the kids’ favor in a desperate attempt to get the thing over with. It’s nice to spread the presents out, because everything gets played with much more than if everything comes at once. It was a rainy dreary day outside, so we hung out, played lots of games, ate left over chinese food, baked chocolate chip cookies, and watched the Muppet Christmas Carol.
In thinking about my attitudes towards Christmas, I’ve figured out that there are at least three different holidays that are cojoined under the name of Christmas these days:
- The religious holiday, with the babe in the manger and so forth. I have deep respect for this holiday, and find parts of the story very moving, but I feel no need or desire to celebrate it myself.
- The Charles Dickens / Irving Berlin version of the holiday, which is essentially secular. (When Scrooge wakes up Christmas morning and wants to change his life, it’s not church that he rushes off to.) This version is about winter wonderlands, crackling fires, lots of cookies, and good times spent with family and friends.
- The buy-buy-buy Sunday circular version of the holiday, which is all about spending money. Tom Lehrer caught it perfectly in his tribute to "the true spirit of Christmas as we celebrate it in the United States, that is to say the commercial spirit."
Thinking of it this way really helped me understand my ambivalence about Christmas. (Last year, I wrote that I didn’t really have a good answer for why I was less than totally thrilled about having another holiday to celebrate). As a non-Christian, in some ways it’s easy for me to enjoy the second version of Christmas — especially since I’m not trying to live up to an idealized image of what Christmas is supposed to be. I can bake gingerbread men with my boys, without feeling like I’m a failure for not making 10 different kinds of cookies. But, without the counterbalance of the religious components of Christmas, I’m afraid that if we celebrate it as a secular holiday, the materialistic component will become overwhelming. Does that make sense?
It also helped me figure out why I’m so scornful of the supposed "War on Christmas." Because saying "Happy Holidays" isn’t a threat to any of the three kinds of Christmas. (And as many people have pointed out, it has spread largely because it’s bad business sense to offend any potential customers.) It’s only a threat to those who are nostalgic for surface conformity, who are fine with there being Jews and Moslems and atheists in the US as long as we’re willing to be second-class citizens.
December 26th, 2005 at 1:19 am
Have a wonderful and relaxing holiday!
December 26th, 2005 at 9:20 am
I know exactly how you feel. I, too, celebrate the holiday secularly now. Ironically, my inlaws, who are pretty devout Christians, cross the line into the commercial more so than anyone else in the family. Sadly, I’m hoping as the grandchildren increase and they get older (and poorer) that the commercialism will become less the focus. We don’t go visit them over the holiday even though we would see the entire extended family by doing so. That’s because every event is centered around the giving and receiving of gifts instead of simple togetherness.
December 26th, 2005 at 3:45 pm
I’m trying to focus more on the Dickens Christmas and less on the buying Christmas, and this year I think we actually had a good balance. There was family, food, harmony, the old-school Rudolph with the dentist-wannabe elf, cookies and all. My girls were as excited about their Christmas dresses as they were about presents, and seeing all my parents and my sister.
December 26th, 2005 at 6:12 pm
Actually, Scrooge *does* rush off to church–it’s not in the movie version(s), but it’s in the book. The book is all about the Christian version on the surface. IMO it’s very pagan underneath, but I wouldn’t say it is in any way secular.
This doesn’t mean taht there isn’t a secular version, but I don’t think Dickens had much to do with it. Since I read it for the last time just two days ago, I’m very confident on this point, and I could even be obnoxious and quote relevant passages–but I won’t. LOL
December 26th, 2005 at 9:14 pm
As usual, you’ve cut through to the distinctions and the real issues very neatly.
I try for the “Dickens” christmas as well, but with the difficulty that in a hot climate, only the family and friends part really works. The rest of it feels a bit stupid (although we always do seem to end up with roast vegetables in the middle of a hot day).
There’s a subset to that one (that I think doesn’t really creep into the commercial one) which is the complete and utter excitement of small children is what makes it really special. You don’t have to have an expensive commercial christmas for small children to be beside themselves with excitement that Santa actually visited their house and left them presents!
December 27th, 2005 at 8:58 am
I am a churchgoer, and to a great extent I do succeed in honoring the Dickens Christmas, as you call it. But as someone who lives in a cold place (Chicago) I can very strongly feel the reverberations of the old pagan midwinter festivals. The lights, the boozing, the frantic attempts not to get depressed by the crappy weather. Everyone reminding everyone else — repeatedly — that we’ll be getting more sunlight soon.
So my family worships a tree and the furnace this time of year, essentially! (It’s a great feeling to be inside a cozy house, listening to the radiators hiss, as the wind howls outside.) I’m totally OK with that.